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In virtual April Fool’s Parade, Trump will flee ‘witch hunt’ — riding a broom

Joey Skaggs’s annual April Fool’s Day Parade often does not actually happen in reality — though it’s definitely always outrageous.

In 2018, it really did occur, as Donald Trump-mask-wearing revelers jeered outside Trump Tower and all “took a knee,” in solidarity with embattled activist quarterback Colin Kaepernick. Also joining in the spoof, dubbed “Trump’s Military Parade,” were Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un and Stormy Daniels.

But this year, there’s no question the parade will be virtual reality — really.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the 35th annual installation of the slapstick event will be conceptual. Or as Skaggs put it, “Just imagine it and participate online!”

According to a press release, “New York’s irreverent April Fools’ Day Parade, poking fun at the past year’s displays of hype, hypocrisy, deceit, bigotry and downright foolishness, is not canceled! Stay home, stay healthy, flatten the curve and survive! And join us in imagining and designing your own floats and voting for the King of Fools. Use #aprilfoolsdayparade and tag us on FacebookTwitter and Instagram.

“The public is encouraged to envision themselves, in or out of costume, with or without floats. Floats should be no wider than 10 feet and no longer than 30 feet. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and helium balloons are welcome. The Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire.”

Satirist Joey Skaggs. (Courtesy Joey Skaggs)

The theme of this year’s parade is “Witch Hunt!” The parade’s grand marshal will again be President Trump, wearing a witch’s cape and hat and riding a witch’s broom. Chased by a mob of whistleblowers, The Donald will be screaming “Witch Hunt!” as he attempts to flee the angry crowd.

The public is “invited to bring whistles and join the stampede.”

Said organizer Skaggs, “With this parade, we are starting a whistleblowers campaign. Blow your whistle at every Trump encounter! Let’s vote for change in 2020. We need new fools to make fun of.

“To honor this year’s biggest catastrophe — a shortage of toilet paper — we’re adding the Hi-Jacked Tractor Trailer Loaded with Stolen Toilet Paper float,” he noted. “TP will be tossed out to the crowd.

“Vacation attractions are closed. Cruise ships are petri dishes. Bars and restaurants are shuttered. Everyone’s stuck inside and for most, there’s no escape. But, there’s no shortage of fools this year, so the parade will go on in our minds. It’s a Mardi Gras fantasy for the quarantined.”

This year’s parade is sponsored by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman, with funding provided by Deutsche Bank and Dark Money.

Participants can imagine the parade on Wed., April 1, from noon to 3 p.m., starting at Fifth Ave. and 59th St., passing Trump Tower and marching down to Washington Square Park.

For a full description of all of the parade floats, plus the imaginary after-party in Washington Square Park, click here.

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